Jokes

How can you tell if

How can you tell if a treasure map was written by a pirate chicken? Eggs marks the spot.

I just bought a really

I just bought a really expensive barge pole. Thought I’d push the boat out.

If only someone could speed

If only someone could speed up the deer reproduction process… They could probably make a million bucks.

I have a pet tree. It’s

I have a pet tree. It’s like having a pet dog except the bark is quieter.

I asked my wife is

I asked my wife is she wanted to go out to dinner tomorrow and she said yes. I’m pretty excited to have the apartment to myself for the evening.

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