Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st May 2000

Dilbert//4054, first published 26 years ago on Sunday 21st May 2000

Tags

behind schedule created without knowledge future wild guesses surrigates knowledge project dealines trade show dates failure assured apologize budgets are created

Official transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you explain why your project is behind schedule?"

Dilbert answers, "Yes. A schedule is an artificial device created without knowledge of the future."

Dilbert goes on to say, "Wild guesses are used as surrogates for knowledge."

Dilbert says to the Boss, "Project deadlines ae tied to trade show dates instead of reality."

Dilbert continues his explanation, "Then management cuts the budget until failure is assured."

Dilbert says to the Boss, "I assume you called me here so you can apologize for your role in all this."

The Boss sits in his chair looking puzzled and amazed. Dilbert then asks the Boss, "Would you like to hear how budgets are created?"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY YOUR PROJECT IS BEHIND SCHEDULE?

YES. A SCHEDULE IS AN ARTIFICIAL DEVICE CREATED WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF THE FUTURE.

WILD GUESSES ARE USED AS SURROGATES FOR KNOWLEDGE.

PROJECT DEADLINES ARE TIED TO TRADE SHOW DATES INSTEAD OF REALITY.

THEN MANAGEMENT CUTS THE BUDGET UNTIL FAILURE IS ASSURED.

I ASSUME YOU CALLED ME HERE SO YOU CAN APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR ROLE IN ALL THIS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR HOW BUDGETS ARE CREATED?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Art of Schedule Creation"

Summary:

This Dilbert comic strip humorously explores the concept of project scheduling. The conversation begins with the boss asking why a project is behind schedule, prompting the employee to explain the importance of schedules as artificial devices without knowledge of the future. The boss responds by saying that wild guesses are used as surrogates for knowledge, and project deadlines are tied to trade show dates rather than reality.

The employee then asks how budgets are created, and the boss reveals that management cuts the budget until failure is assured. The employee is left wondering if they should apologize for their role in all this, highlighting the absurdity of the situation. The comic strip pokes fun at the often-flawed nature of project scheduling and the arbitrary nature of budget creation.

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