Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 18th February 1996

Dilbert//2500, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 18th February 1996

Tags

project time line work portion meet with people competitive bids predictable behavior randomly reorganize department cut funding final phase death bitter and broken leaving building medical

Official transcript

Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dilbert works on a laptop connected to an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "Here's my project time line."

Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "The 'work' portion will take one week."

Dilbert continues, "I'll spend three weeks meeting with people whom you send to me because you don't feel like talking to them yourself."

Dilbert continues, "I'll spend eight weeks getting competitive bids from companies that I know I won't select."

Dilbert continues, ". . . Six weeks to get the wisdom and approval of executives who are too busy to understand the issues."

Dilbert says, "During that time you will randomly reorganize the department and cut my funding."

Dilbert points to a picture of a man jumping out of a building window. Dilbert continues, "In the final phase I leap to my death, a bitter and broken shell of a man."

The Boss asks, "Is there some sort of manager thing I should be doing now?"

Dilbert replies, "If I time my leap right you'll just be leaving the building."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HERE'S MY PROJECT TIME LINE.

THE "WORK" PORTION WILL TAKE ONE WEEK.

WORK 1 WEEK I'LL SPEND THREE WEEKS MEETING WITH PEOPLE WHOM YOU SEND TO ME BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING TO THEM YOURSELF.

3 WEEKS I'LL SPEND EIGHT WEEKS GETTING COMPETITIVE BIDS FROM COMPANIES THAT I KNOW I WONT SELECT.

... SIX WEEKS TO GET THE WISDOM AND APPROVAL OF EXECUTIVES WHO ARE TOO BUSY TO UNDERSTAND THE ISSUES DURING THAT TIME YOU WILL RANDOMLY REORGANIZE THE DEPARTMENT AND CUT MY FUNDING.

IN THE FINAL PHASE I LEAP TO MY DEATH, A BITTER AND BROKEN SHELL OF A MAN.

IS THERE SOME SORT OF MANAGER THING I SHOULD BE DOING NOW?

IF I TIME MY LEAP RIGHT YOU'LL JUST BE LEAVING THE BUILDING.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "The Agony of Waiting for Approval"

Summary:

This Dilbert comic strip humorously portrays the frustration and despair that can come with waiting for approval or funding. The strip follows the main character, Dilbert, as he navigates a series of bureaucratic delays and setbacks.

Key Scenes:

• Scene 1: Dilbert is shown at his desk, looking at a project timeline with a speech bubble saying, "Here's my project timeline." He is accompanied by a colleague who says, "Here's my project timeline."
• Scene 2: Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "The 'work' portion will take one week." His colleague responds, "The 'work' portion will take one week."
• Scene 3: Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "I'll spend three weeks meeting with people whom you send to me because you don't feel like talking to them yourself." His colleague responds, "I'll spend three weeks getting competitive bids from companies that I know I won't select."
• Scene 4: Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "...six weeks to get the wisdom and approval of executives who are too busy to understand the issues." His colleague responds, "...six weeks to get the wisdom and approval of executives who are too busy to understand the issues."
• Scene 5: Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "During that time you will randomly reorganize the department and cut my funding." His colleague responds, "During that time you will randomly reorganize the department and cut my funding."
• Scene 6: Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "In the final phase I leap to my death, a bitter and broken shell of a man." His colleague responds, "In the final phase I leap to my death, a bitter and broken shell of a man."
• Scene 7: Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "If I time my leap right you just be leaving the building." His colleague responds, "If I time my leap right you just be leaving the building."

Overall:

The comic strip pokes fun at the slow pace of bureaucracy and the frustration that can come with waiting for approval or funding. It highlights the absurdity of the situation and the desperation of the characters involved.

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