Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st September 1996

Dilbert//2696, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 1st September 1996

Tags

two day workshop mission vision useless jargon illiterate execustives mind numbing job security ethical behavior better idea high marks class evalutaion

Official transcript

A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision."

Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives."

The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ."

The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security."

The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you."

Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation."

The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me."

The man replies, "You wish."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

IN THIS TWO DAY WORKSHOP, YOU WILL LEARN TO EMBRACE OUR COMPANY'S MISSION AND VISION AT FIRST GLANCE IT WILL APPEAR TO BE A BUNCH OF USELESS JARGON CREATED BY FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE EXECUTIVES BUT AFTER WE DO SOME MIND-NUMBING GROUP EXERCISES...

...YOU'LL FORGET THAT YOU'RE UNDERPAID AND YOU HAVE NO JOB SECURITY WELL BEGIN BY WRITING DOWN ALL THE THINGS THAT "ETHICAL BEHAVIOR" MEANS TO YOU.

I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA: IF YOU LET US LEAVE NOW, WELL GIVE YOU HIGH MARKS ON THE CLASS EVALUATION.

Ethical Behavior GOOD JOB.

YOU TOUCHED YOU WISH

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "Ethical Behavior"

Summary:

The comic strip follows the character of Dilbert, an engineer at a large corporation, as he attends a workshop on ethical behavior. The workshop is led by a speaker who emphasizes the importance of ethical behavior, but whose words are undermined by the company's own practices.

The speaker begins by stating that the company will learn to embrace its mission and vision, but quickly reveals that the real purpose of the workshop is to create a bunch of useless jargon that will be used to functionally illiterate executives. The speaker then moves on to discuss mind-numbing group exercises, which are intended to make employees feel underpaid and without job security.

Despite the speaker's attempts to make the workshop seem meaningful, Dilbert remains skeptical and unimpressed. He is shown to be bored and uninterested in the proceedings, and eventually walks out of the workshop when the speaker asks if anyone has any better ideas.

Overall, the comic strip pokes fun at the idea of corporate workshops and the ways in which they can be used to manipulate and control employees. It suggests that many companies prioritize profits over people and use empty rhetoric to mask their true intentions.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

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