Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th July 1990

Dilbert//449, first published 36 years ago on Sunday 8th July 1990

Tags

dilbert bluffing control don't wing my husband dead parties jury trials steamroller porsche

Official transcript

The caption says, "What if people had tails? First of all, it would look darned silly."

A tail protrudes from Dilbert's pants. The caption says, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker."

Dilbert sits at a table playing poker with a man. Dilbert thinks, "He's bluffing."

The man's tail wags. He thinks, "Control . . . Don't wag . . ."

The caption says, "Jury trials would be simpler."

A woman sits in the witness stand and says, ". . . Then I found my husband dead."

The judge and a lawyer stare at her wagging tail. The caption says, "And parties would be even more awkward."

Dilbert talks to a man with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. The man says, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller."

Dilbert's tail wags as he replies, "Tragic . . . Really."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WHAT IF PEOPLE HAD TAILS ?

FIRST OF ALL, IT WOULD LOOK DARNED SILLY ONLY THE TRULY UNOBSERVANT WOULD LOSE AT POKER.

HE'S BLUFFING.

CONTROL..

DON'T WAG..

JURY TRIALS WOULD BE SIMPLER.

..THEN I FOUND MY HUSBAND DEAD.

AND PARTIES WOULD BE EVEN MORE AWKWARD.

THAT'S WHEN I LEARNED THAT IF YOU DRIVE A PORSCHE, YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE FUN OF A MAN ON A STEAMROLLER.

TRAGIC...

REALLY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "What If People Had Tails?"

Summary:

This comic strip, originally published in, presents a humorous scenario where people have tails. The story unfolds in four panels:

• Panel 1: A man with a tail is asked, "What if people had tails?" He responds, "First of all, it would look darned silly."
• Panel 2: The man is shown in a courtroom, where he is asked, "Jury trials would be simpler." He replies, "Then I found my husband dead."
• Panel 3: The man is depicted at a poker game, where he is asked, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker." He responds, "He's bluffing. Control... don't wag."
• Panel 4: The man is shown driving a Porsche, where he is asked, "And parties would be even more awkward." He replies, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller. Tragic... really."

The comic strip uses humor to explore the implications of people having tails, highlighting the absurdity of various situations.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

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